Failed

Failed!

I can never count the times I failed in my life, more than the fingers of my hand and toes. They are just astounding that it seems I cannot get over from them and still experienced and still struggling with it.

Now, I failed again, again…

With failure, there is regret. I failed with my finances. I am in terrible debt right now; I do not know how to pay with it. I cannot even ask my parents to help because I’m sure, they will never help me.

I failed in my work, with it is regret. I regret that I resigned, if I just sprinkle a little of perseverance to it, I may able to pay my debt in no time and follow the desires of my heart. If I don’t resigned, maybe I can help my parents, I am not miserable today, I may not be desperate in looking for jobs and thinking to myself just anything to survive and be out of this depression.

I rejected a job in a retail industry, if again, I have thought, that I accepted it, and put a tiny bitty perseverance to it, then less than a year I may able to survive able to pay my outstanding debt and follow my dreams soon.

All I do now is to regret and think of the past. But the more I think of it, the more I get sad and worry. It seems I love to fail, it is my specialty. This has been part of my life ever since I can remember. In schools, in friends, in projects and assignments, in decision and in work. I cannot get over with it.  

But I have been reminded that “failure is temporary, victory is permanent” and I have a champion partner who will be with me throughout this game of life, and that is GOD.

Now, I may be in distress and in anxiety, but I promise to myself, someday I will succeed and will be reminisce this part of my life as a testing point to where I could last. I will be VICTORIOUS.

“Lord, sorry for the time I have fallen and for the times I blame you for my wrong decisions, please give me more faith, more hope that I could trust you. Lord, I am very afraid, sometimes I lose my focus on you, and will divert my attention to the strong waves around me that makes me terrify. Please be with me now, help me, I give my all to you”