The Search is Over

The Search is Over

Please allow me to share my own love story with the Lord.

I am Mark Jimuel Castillo of Cebu City. Just an ordinary kid from an ordinary family. But when I ask about my parents and other people about me who have been with me while I grow up, I was not an ordinary kid.

I am the eldest of the 3 children; my mother told me that I was very active kid, very hyperactive. I do not know how to deplete my energy, jumping, running around, skipping, and rolling all over, always searching for something. But she also noticed peculiarity in me, even as a small kid, I have already shown interest in religion, in saints and about God.

During elementary days I volunteer myself to be an altar boy to a nearby chapel dedicated to Our Lady of the Miraculous Medal, run by the DC Sisters, there I learn more about my faith and deep love for the Lord. There I can vividly remember my phony ambition that someday I will become a priest, for the reason that is not so genuine, I want to be a priest so that I want to be rich. Huh? Yes, because I was thinking then that the collections during the offertory are intended to pay for the priest. Very shallow reason indeed.

Until I grow up it seems I never lost my childlike heart; happy, optimistic, cheerful and full of life. I am a friend of many because of these traits. My father also instilled in me other values like being ambitious and hardworking. During high school I am involved with school activities, and holds position in different organizations and classroom posts, that I have to leave my service as an altar boy. But deep within, my devotion to God remain the same, but the thought of priesthood seem to be blown away by my preoccupation.

And I reached college. I was uncertain of what degree to take up. A good 60% of my batch mates took nursing because that was a hit at that time, I can’t! I am a hemophobic (irrational fear of blood). Since I want to travel and tour the world, I took tourism for one semester. But I am not challenged of the program so I shifted to Management Accounting, then I forgot that I can’t tolerate so much numbers in one setting, how much more for a lifetime, so, it just lasted also for one semester. Until I landed into the Business Department where I convinced myself that I should stop wandering and searching around and settle in that degree. Thankfully I graduated.

During college days, in order to support my provisions and my own expenditures I work part-time as a service crew in a fast-food chain. I gain a lot of friends there and I was quite happy. After graduation I was then ask to take an exam for managerial position, and by November I started my training. I could say that I was quite contented of what I am doing. But deep inside there is no peace. Worldly things and ambitions almost drown me. During that time, I begin to question my heart, what I really want to do. I went to discover myself and my talents. I took violin lessons and also study Spanish (two of my greatest ambition) but it didn’t work. Then I started to take and note down possible options for my career. Either I will resign and apply to Canada or Middle East where food-chain managers are very in demand. I was also reprimanded by my father to take Solas in order to acquire a Seaman’s book, a main requirement to apply in a Cruise ship (where my father worked for 7 contracts). I was also able to pass the Civil Service Exam because if all else fails, I am hoping I could get a job in the government so that I can retire early and enjoy its retirement benefits.

I was restless then. Until one day, my superior ask me that I will be a borrow manager in Tacloban for one month, that I was half hearted, I never knew what Tacloban but still I accepted it. I was alone, no internet, no newspaper, no television, no parties, but I prayed. I consider it as my personal retreat in the world I used to. Every day I go to a church and prayed for my purpose. It was also there that I learned that prayer is a two way communication. It was there that I appreciate silence. For the longest time, I was always the one who talks, asks and demand from God, I was busy then in listening to Him, maybe because of the noise around me and inside of me. It was also there that I shifted my prayer, from “Lord this is what I want” into “Lord what you want me to do for you?” I returned to Cebu refreshed and enlightened.

The first thing I did is to join a Holy Week retreat organized by the Redemptorist; I then feel the calling of God to serve Him and His people. After that, I was preparing myself for my confirmation of the Holy Spirit and it is also my first time to attend the Life in the Spirit Seminar where I felt the call of God even stronger. Then I begin to see myself serving in the catholic community that I belong. I was a regular attendee of their prayer meeting way back 2011 but I was not yet serving then. I was then led also to a foundation to volunteer myself to assist the youth outreach for the street children.

In between I was also searching for vocations and read story about conversion and about the calling. I inquire maybe about 6 religious societies and congregations thru e-mail, asking them on the process of discernment. Then one day, as I was browsing my facebook, there, I noticed a black and white picture of a priest, who was a doctor and a priest at the same time, wow! and at the bottom of the picture was an invitation of the Vocation Seminar for Jesuits, I find it strange at first since I know that the Vocation Month in Cebu is every February with its Vocation Jamboree as its culmination, but still I texted the contact person.

My family knows my religiosity. My devotion. My intense admiration to God. Some of my friends also do. Despite my outgoing, cheerful and funny personality, deep inside I am very much in love with God. My parents also see in me when I was still a kid, the potentials of becoming a priest, but at that time, same with me, I was never serious about it.

God disturbs me. It was just only a joke back then that I would be a priest because I want to earn lots of money. But then, I was really meant to serve God, I was born for Him. I will quote from the famous song of David Pomeranz:

“That I was born for you
It was written in the stars
Yes, I was born for you
And the choice was never ours
It's as if the powers of the universe
Conspired to make you mine
And til the day I die,
I bless the day that I was born for you”

Fast forward, I think I passed the exam and I had three interviews and one of them is the Vocations Director. He asked me then how I came to know about the Jesuits, I said it was because of St. Ignatius of Loyola (I was very interested in the lives of saints at an early age). But honestly I never knew of a Jesuit priest, never admired them before, do not know of their advocacies and apostolate.  But as I thoroughly reflect, why I choose to be a Jesuit maybe this could shed light. 

I was born on December 27, the feast day of St. John the Evangelist who is the one who laid his head on the breast of Jesus, close to His heart. That day also is the memorial of the first apparition of Jesus to St. Mary Margaret Alacoque, and reveals to Him His Sacred Heart. Three months after, I was baptized, and in all of the churches and parishes of Cebu City, I was baptized in the Parish dedicated to the Sacred Heart of Jesus (we are not part of the parish restriction). The church in Tacloban that I paid a visit every day and that was a crucial point in my calling was the church also dedicated to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. And then of all the religious societies and congregations that I inquire, the Jesuits are the most generous, for they are the ones who replied and willingly assist me. As I then searched, I was brought to my senses that the Jesuits are the prime promoters of the Sacred Heart of Jesus.

Pretty coincidence huh! But I think it was not just a mere co-incidence this was divine providence. The heart of Jesus is where the fountain of life is. It is where I can find peace and love that the world cannot give. The Heart of Jesus is inviting me to surrender all my options and personal ambitions, even my family to Him.

God’s hand is at work, He lead me to places, persons and possibilities. And these are the ones who completed my puzzle. I have meet and experience them in order to know my purpose, each of them is part of my puzzle. As the famous song of the Survivors:

“I never knew who brought me here, as if somebody led my hand

It seems I have hardly steered, my course was planned.

And destiny that guides us all, and by His hand we rise and fall.

But only moment in time, enough to catch our breath again.

And it was just another piece of the puzzle, just another part of the plan.

How one life touches the other, it’s so hard to understand.

Still we walk this road together, we travel go as far as we can.

And we have waited for this moment in time. Ever Since the world began”

I have shared this love story hoping that one day I will become a good Jesuit priest. I am now part of the VDP here in Cebu and praying and hoping I will be accepted in the pre-novitiate. Before, I was like riding in a carousel, round and round nowhere to go and left with so many options, but now I have found God’s will, I believe that His will is within the deepest desires of my heart, and my desire is to serve him in the priesthood. Before, while I am in search of my true happiness and purpose, God is also looking for me and as soon I found Him “the pearl of great price” I can now stop searching. Quoting again from another song of the Survivors:

“I was living for a dream, loving for a moment.

Taking on the world, that was just my style.
Then I touch Your hand, I can hear You whisper.

THE SEARCH IS OVER, Love was right before my eyes.”

Tita Bebs

We have earnestly prayed for healing to her for we believe that she has still to live in order to enjoy life and to fulfill her dreams. Day night we prayed, never come a day that we forget to pray and to beseech and knocking heavens to hear us. But my aunt, at the age of 52, returned to God.

It is again seems that our prayers are in vain, that our prayers are not heard. The pain, the questions cannot be separated in us. Why Lord, why this disaster in our family. I d o not understand, we live a faithful life, we serve, we avoid sin in every possible way. Lord I cannot understand, I cannot grasp. She has to live, she many dreams to fulfill.

Why Lord, I still believe in you, I still love you, I will still serve you. If this will be for your glory so be it. But the pain in unbearable, my heart is broken everytime my mother cries.

“Lord are you closing you ears to us? Why you have not heard us? Why bad things happen to good people? I cannot understand why, but it is your will. Let it be done”   

+Marilou Bulay Franciso, may you rest in peace. Amen

Failed

Failed!

I can never count the times I failed in my life, more than the fingers of my hand and toes. They are just astounding that it seems I cannot get over from them and still experienced and still struggling with it.

Now, I failed again, again…

With failure, there is regret. I failed with my finances. I am in terrible debt right now; I do not know how to pay with it. I cannot even ask my parents to help because I’m sure, they will never help me.

I failed in my work, with it is regret. I regret that I resigned, if I just sprinkle a little of perseverance to it, I may able to pay my debt in no time and follow the desires of my heart. If I don’t resigned, maybe I can help my parents, I am not miserable today, I may not be desperate in looking for jobs and thinking to myself just anything to survive and be out of this depression.

I rejected a job in a retail industry, if again, I have thought, that I accepted it, and put a tiny bitty perseverance to it, then less than a year I may able to survive able to pay my outstanding debt and follow my dreams soon.

All I do now is to regret and think of the past. But the more I think of it, the more I get sad and worry. It seems I love to fail, it is my specialty. This has been part of my life ever since I can remember. In schools, in friends, in projects and assignments, in decision and in work. I cannot get over with it.  

But I have been reminded that “failure is temporary, victory is permanent” and I have a champion partner who will be with me throughout this game of life, and that is GOD.

Now, I may be in distress and in anxiety, but I promise to myself, someday I will succeed and will be reminisce this part of my life as a testing point to where I could last. I will be VICTORIOUS.

“Lord, sorry for the time I have fallen and for the times I blame you for my wrong decisions, please give me more faith, more hope that I could trust you. Lord, I am very afraid, sometimes I lose my focus on you, and will divert my attention to the strong waves around me that makes me terrify. Please be with me now, help me, I give my all to you”

God hurt me

God hurt me

Why God hurt me?

In the midst of my faithful service to Him, my dedication and love, it seems not enough.

My heart is going to burst with pain and sadness. I do not know how I will be going to cope this.

Why He allows me to experience shame, and false hope? Why he allows me to feel this way? Why he wants me to get hurt? 

I am very hopeful already that I will be going to get the job; I have already imagined myself working in that company. But just when I was very excited to start, the company place me on hold for certain reasons.

A lot of trouble we experience lately by our family: My father's working dilemma in the war stricken Syria that made him and other workers to be stranded; My aunt Marilou's worsened condition, despite we stormed heaven by our prayers. 
 

Lord, hear me! Listen to me? Where are you when I need you most?

Broke

Broke.

Why Lord? The very popular question.

I have been struggling to understand the depth of God’s wisdom as to how why He allows such things to happen in my life. Why all the miserable mishaps towards His faithful servant?

I may never analyze this in my lifetime, but surely, I am very hurt, I cannot understand why. I was in the cloud nine of happiness a few weeks ago, but I am in this state right now. I do not understand why, but there is still the peace inside of me, but I cannot control my worry, I cannot contain my anxiety, I do not know what to do. But in the effort of understanding, it seems God is speaking to me to relax and not to worry. But out of my stubbornness and still my incomplete trust to Him, I fret a lot.

“Lord help me to trust you more, open my heart to know you and to place my hopes in you. I cannot fathom your ways but I am sure, it will be for the best”

Unexplainable

Unexplainable

Yes, from the title it says true to me this past few days, or months in my life now.

It seems I am crazy, out of my mind, distorted and disturbed. I am not on myself because I was ambitious, materialistic and proud person, but now, I do not know what happened.

]it all started when I was assigned in Tacloban for a month and time there really run or should I say crawl very slow since I have no outlet to burst out my tons of energy, and I have no where else to go. I drown myself to constant prayer and meditation during my rest days and every day I suppose. No tv, no internet, no radio, no news. Everything. I was just work-boarding house-work-boarding house routine, but between those is “church” before I go to work, I pass the church of the Sacred Heart of Jesus and I earnestly prayed there every time I proceed to work. And I can still vividly remember my prayer was:

“Lord, help me to find another job when I get back to Cebu, Lord, use me according to your will and purpose”

I kept on repeating that prayer in one month. I also read the book, “the purpose driven life” by Rick Warren.

Until one day (I cannot remember the exact day) when I was recollecting my thought and my ambition before to become a priest. It’s as seems a flashback of my life is played. I recall the times I am so ecstatic when I am serving, or when I am praying and everything that I was doing before that is connected in the church or in the community.

I am not sure why that thing is happening to me: maybe because of boredom, maybe because of nothing to do but to pray. But I am very sure that God is telling me something, and that something I have to look forward to in the future. But I am very glad now, that God has called me to serve Him, through the Awesome Kids Ministry of the Light of Jesus Family. I am so grateful because I know He is the one who led my hand here. And I am very excited to what is happening to me more in the future.

Praise be to God.

The Resounding Call

The Resounding Call

I attended the vocation seminar yesterday, Sunday, at the Sacred Heart Parish Cebu, conducted by the Jesuits. It again blossom my desire to become a priest. Oh, God, are you still calling me? Do you still want me?

I do not know how to answer the call; I do not know how to deal with it. My fears are still with me, but the peace is also within me. I do not know what to feel, I am not confident.

 

God always disturbs me. There are many instances that I don’t want to think it anymore and focus on finding a job, but He is always wants t re direct me. When I read a book, some passage will talk about vocation and calling, and when I pray it will suddenly flashes on my mind. I even dream of Jesus crucified but without the left arm.

But I still have to work; I have many responsibilities and liabilities (credit card). My mother will not allow me to enter seminary. There are many setbacks, but I know if this is my call and if I am chosen, it will come whatever it may take.

Oh God, what you want me to do for you. Lord speak to me now. Let me know what you want me to do, I am yours!

Legacy

The passing of the “Comedy King of the Philippines” , Dolphy, is a somewhat an awakening for me. After hearing and seeing the many people honor him because of his goodness and values that touched lives of many makes me think, “what will I do to touch other peoples lives?

I love hearing Eulogy but it also makes me wonder if all they say are all true or they just want to at least share the fame the dead person is enjoying at the moment, hehehe..
But really, more often than not Eulogy is the best time to remember the good deeds the person has done in his life.

There is a saying that goes “When I am right no one remembers, but when I am wrong, no one forgets”

During a lifetime (when you are still alive) people will really remember most of what is your error, your mistakes, your defects. Sometimes people will label you with those negative connotations “kadtong si MJ na daot na taas” “kadto gung tambok kayo nga bungi” and before you know it, you have already adopt it in your system.

But thankfully, God is not like that, He does not remember our faults and failures, He always loves us and ready to forgive us. He is the god of all good, He doesn’t punish us for our sins, (the misfortunes that happens to us is just the consequences of our choice to sin)

As I ponder these things, I personally reflect on what will I do to spark change. Sometimes I envy others doing extraordinary things, inspire others and help others to live a good life. I always want to help, I wish I was a philanthropist but I can barely give because most of the time I have nothing.

When I have I always give. My mother always reminds me that I have to retain some for myself, but I really want to give. Sometimes my human nature will strike me, my pride and my need to be appreciated will reach my head. People that I help most of them forget the goodness that I have done and I feel very bad about that. When it is time for me to ask for help, they don’t bother to talk to me or at least speak to me comforting words.

But again God will ready intervene.   I will be reminded again the times God has been good to me and the times that I sinned, He still continue to bless me despite my shortcomings. He didn’t bother to remember my wrong that I have done. He is after me, my whole being because I am His child and He loves me.

And by that I am ready to give my all to Him, if it cost my life, so be it. Lord I am ready to follow you.

What now

I have been very grateful to God lately. It seems that I more feel His presence now than those days.

Maybe because I was serving Him.

Maybe because I am now more prayerful.

But maybe my best answer is that, I am more trustful, and confident of God's love and reliable only on His goodness.

I am now in my spiritual awakening, I am glad that God called me this early to have more intimate relationship with Him.

But still, there are struggles, struggles to defeat fear and anxiety, struggles to discipline myself; struggles of being more faithful.

Human nature as is, I am not exempted of trials and difficulties. I am not exempted of the temptation that surrounds me, in fact, I can feel now that the more I serve God, the more the devil wants to hold me back. 

One of my struggles now is to know what God wants me to do. It is still not clear of me what He wants me to do. I have fears of what will happen to me in the future. I have fears what will I become in the long run. I have fears of what others may say unto me. But even with the fear, there is a certain peace inside my heart. I still doubt, I want to doubt but it seems that God is telling me that I should not worry, that everything will be alright. 

"O God you know the deepest desires of my heart, you know well my capabilities and talents, and you know that I offer it all to you. Use me as you will, use me to bring light to others, use me to be an inspiration, use me as you want me to be."

Gozos sa Inahan sa Kanunayng Panabang

GOZOS sa 

Inahan sa Kanunayng Panabang

1.Sa mga bukton mo gikugos
Ang imong Anak na si Jesus
Siya ang gugma mong tiunay
Ug ang tibook mong kalipay.

CORO:
O ulay nga Inahan sa Ginoo
Ug sa Kanunay nga Panabang!
Imo kami nga panabangan
Among maloloy-ong Inahan..

2.Si Jesus sa Bata pa Siya
Daw pagahikit-an na Niya
Mga lansang, bangkaw ug uban pa
Nga sa krus pagaantuson Niya. (coro)

3.Gibati man usab sa Inahan
Ang mga giantus sa Anak niya,
Ay! Ang sala sa mga katawhan
Mao man ang naingnan niya. (coro)

4.Si Jesus kanimo mingkupot,
Kay kanimo Iyang gipasabot
Kadtong masulob-ong panahon
Nga sa Krus iyang pagaduphon. (coro)

5.O inahan ilingi mo kanamo
Ang mga mata mong maloloy-on
Ug sa Dios kami ig-ampo
Aron sa mga sala pasayloon. (coro)

6.Maoy mainit mong tinguha
Nga makabig ang makasasala
Busa, sa Anak mo kami ikuha
Sa pasaylo sa among mga sala. (coro)

7.Inahan sa matahum nga gugma,
Kanimo among gipangamuyo
Nga kami unta magapuyo
Sa mga panabang mo ug gracia. (coro)

8.Kadtong alaut nga mga kalag
Nga mibati sa mga kagul-anan
Sila nga tanan nakakaplag
Sa kanunay mo nga panabang. (coro)

9.Niadto nga mga kalisdanan 

Sa mga magsasakay nga gibati,
Mga pagtawag imung gipamati
Ug nakadawat sa dunggoanan. (coro)

10.Nan, Birhen nga maloloy-on
Ang kanunay mo nga panabang
Mao gayud ang among gilauman
Karon ug among kamatayon. (coro)

O ulay nga Inahan sa Ginoo
Ug sa Kanunay nga Panabang!
Imo kami nga panabangan

Among maloloy-ong Inahan..

Yutang Maanyag Gayud

1. Naay yutang maanyag gayud

Sa pagtoo makita kini

Atong Amahang Dios nagahulat

Sa pagdawat kanato ngadto 

(Coro)

Magakita-kita

Niadtong yutang maanyag gayud

Magakita-kita

Niadtong yutang maanyag gayud

 

2. Niadtong yutang maga-awit kita

Awit sa mga luwas nga kalag

Wala na didto ang kasubo

Ug pangandoy sa pahulayan (Coro)

3. Daygon ta ang gamhanan nga Dios

Maloloy-on nga Amahan ta

Kay si Jesus ang hatag iya

Ug sa kabulahanang tanan. (Coro)

Nganong Catolico Ako Hangtod Karon

I have written this on 2009 when I was still 20 years old, when I joined the contest of "Bag-ong Lungsuranon" found it on my archive documents...

---------------------------------------------------
                                                “Nganong Catolico Ako Hangtod Karon”

By: Mark Jimuel Castillo

Binunyagan dili lamang sa tubig kun dili sa kalayo sa Espiritu Santo. Ang Ginoo naghatag kanako ug bahandi, ang bahandi na nagpalig-on sa akong relasyon ko kaniya, mao kini ang akong pagka Catolico. 

Ngano man nagpabilin man ko sa akong pagtoo? Kanus-a ako magpabilin dinhi sa akong gi tuohan? Kinsa akong gisaligan?

Ako beynte tres anyos pa lamang, ug sa akong edad daghang mga tentasyon ug paglinlang ang nag alirong kanako. Mga pangutana ug kalibog, mga panulay ug pagsulay daghan kaayo, apan ang Ginoo sa iyang hingpit na gugma nagpakita sa iyang pagka maayo. Sa akong edad curioso ako sa daghang mga butang, sa mga misteryo ug sa syensya, sa  makita ug dili makita. Sa teknolohiya na nahimong usa sa mga hagit sa akong pagpabilin sa paagtoo pinaagi sa mga inpormasyon nga nakahatag kanako sa pagduha-duha ug kalibog. Ang mga saad sa ilang mga pinuno, na ako daw ma langit kung mo uban ko kanila. Ang mga propesiya daw sa bibliya na sila ang mga anghel sa Dios na minaog sa langit aron luwason ang katawhan. Ug ang nagpaila na sila ang bag-ong Jesucristo sa bag-ong panahon, mao ang uban sa daghang mga pang akit na akong nasaksihan. Ako naminaw ug nagpahinuklog kanila pero ang grasya sa Espiritu Santo maoy nag lihok sa akong tanlag. Samtang ako naminaw kanila, mas nihugot ako sa pagtoo ug pasalamat na ako membro sa lawas ni Cristo dinhi sa Simbahang Catolico ug sa mga linain na grasya nga nagpaabot kanako dinhi.

Una sa tanan mao ang mga Sacramento na nagpasinati kanako na ang Ginoo wala lamang sa langit, kun dili naa usab siya sa mga Sacramento na iya gihatag kanako. Ilabi na ang Santos na Eukaristiya kung diin dili lamang nako mabati ang pulong sa Dios ug na dili lamang makita apan ako sad na matagamtaman mismo ang Ginoo nahimong pagkaon kanako ug nga andam ibalik iyang sakripisyo alang sa akong kaluwasan.. Ang Sakramento sa pagkumpisal na ang Ginoo sa iyang dakong kalooy andam na mopasaylo sa akong mga sala, dinha sa presensya sa pari.

Dili sad mahimo sa isa way bili lamang ang pagtoo sa mga Catolico sa Mahal na Birhen Maria, ang inahan ni Jesucristo na giihatag usab aron mahimo nakong inahan. Dako kaayo ko ug debosyon sa inahan sa Dios na usa sa akong mga dangpanan diha sa akong kalisod ug kalibog sa pagtoo, dinhi lang nako makita sa pagtoong Catolico ang dakong respeto sa Mahal na Birhen na sa ubang mga tinuohoan yano ra kaayo na gipasipad-an. Dinhi sad nako na ilhan ang mga Santos ug Balaan ug sa pag pasidungog kanila. Mas nilambo pa ug nilig-on pa ang akong pagtoo sa Dios ug sa iyang Simbahan pinaagi kanila. Usa sa akong paboritong mga Santos mao si Santa Teresita sa Batang Hesus na sa iyang ehemplo sa pag ka simple ako nakita na kitang tanan gitawag sa pagka Santos ug pagka Balaan bisag sa atong kaubos diha sa mata sa Dios.

Ang mga sacramentaryo o mga balaang mga butang nga nag hatag pa ug mas lapad na agianan aron masinati nako ang Ginoo. Ang mga imahen, rosaryo, eskapularyo, medalya ug uban pa na nagpahinumdom kanako sa presensya sa Dios.

Ang mga sagradong tradisyon usab sa Simbahan ang usa sa naghatag kanako ug rason ngano ako anaa pa sa akong pagtoo kay tungod niining mga balaang tradisyon ako nakita giunsa sa Ginoo pagdumala ang Simbahan pinaagi sa pag uyon niining mga rebelasyon na iya gayud nga gi bendesyonan pinaagi sa iyang mga sulogoon dinhi sa Simbahan

Ang mga kasulogan sa tibook tuig sa simbahan usa usab sa mga rason mao natagaan ako ug higayon na masinati nako ang kinabuhi sa Ginoong Jesus dinhi sa kalibutan. Ang kasaulogan sa Pasko sa Pagkatawo ang usa sa akong pinaabot na panahon. Ang pagsaulog sa Pasko nagpahandum kanako sa pagka ubos sa Ginoo ug sa pagkamangihatagon sa Dios Amahan kanako. Kung  pagkamangihatgon sa Dios Amahan ang hisgutan, dili sad nako pwede ibuwag ang iyang pagkamangihatagon kanako sa kinabuhing dayon pinaagi sa pagkabanhaw sa atong Ginoong Jesucristo na gisaulog sa Simbahan matag tuig.

Dako sad akong kalipay sa akong pagka membro ning Simbahan. Dili lamang kini Simbahan sa mga pari, sa mga adunahan, sa mga ma ipluwensya ug sa mga katigulangan, kun dili Simbahan kini sa tanan ilabi na kadtong mga nasalaag. Diri nako nakita ang tinuod na pagka hiusa pinangulohan sa Santo Papa ug sa iyang tinudlo na Arsobispo, ang kahiusahan na dili nimo makita sa uban, ang kahiusahan na gikinahanglan sa kalibutan ug ang kahiusahan aron kita magpuyo sa kalinaw uban sa tanan membro sa lawas ni Cristo. Dili lamang ang mga adunahan ang para sa simbahan, mas gipalabi ang mga alaut sa communidad. Diri nako makita sa Simbahang Catolico ang pag inambitay sa usag-usa ug ang pag atiman sa ilang mga gi kinahanglan. “Church of the Poor” kung sa iningles pa, ang tawag sa simbahan. Dili tungod kay puros pobre ang membro dinhi, kun dili, gipakita niini na ang Simbahan andam modawat sa mga tawo na nasalaag, sa mga alaut sa espirital na butang, ug mga tawo na gutom ug uhaw sa pulong sa Dios.

Malipayon ako na ako mi gradwar sa usa ka Catolikong tunghaan (gipadagan sa mg paring OAR) na mas gipatubo pa ako pagtoo sa Simbahan pinaagi sa mga pagtulon-an na ko nakat-unan. Tungod niini akong nabatyagan na ang simbahan dili lamang para sa mga hamtong ug tigulang, naghatag pud kini ug higayon sa mga kabataan na maila pa ang Ginoo ug mapasabot ang  tahas sa kabataan sa kommunidad pinaagi sa mga programa na gi mugna sa Simbahan alang kanamo mga kabataan.

Ako sad na nakit-an na dili kinahanglan na mahimo kang usa ka pari ug pagka madre aron mahimo ako na usa ka misyonero, bisag pa sa akong pagka ordinaryo mahimo nako mapa ambit ang awhag sa Simbahan sa pagka misyonero pinaagi pagtampo sa akong bahandi, talento ug pag-ampo, o dili ba, sa akong pagpuyo sa Kristohanong kinabuhi ingon man mahimo akong ehemplo sa uban, mao na nagpabilin ako niining akong pagtoo karon kay ako gitawag man sa pagka misyonaryo.

Ang kristohanong pamilya na ako nasinati dinhi sa Simbahan ang naghatag usab nako ug paglaum sa mas dako pang pamilya nagpaabot nako sa gingharian sa langit.

Malipayon ako na membro ako sa Simbahan na andam makigbisog alang sa kaayohan sa nasud. Andam na maminaw sa awhag sa kabaghoan. Gipakita sa Simbahan na ang Dios ang labing gamhanan sa tanan, na dili sa pistola, tanke ug giyera kun dili pinaagi sa pagsalig ug pangaliya kaniya mahimo na makab-ot ang kalinaw ug kaangayan.

Malipayon ako na nagpabillin akong Catoliko kay ako na membro sa usa ka Simbahan na andam nagpanalipod sa interes ug sa kaayohan sa katawhan ilabi na ang interes sa Pamilya. Bisan pa man hagbay nang gibuwag ang katungdanan sa Simbahan ug sa Gobyerno apan padayon na gilaban sa Simbahan ang kaayohan sa tanan. Sa pamilya karon na gihulga sa mga gisang-at na balaod aron ma pugngan ang populasyon pinaagi sa paghimong legal sa mga contraseptibo nga usa ka matang sa aborsyon. Nahulga pud apil ang kasagrado sa matrimonya na gibalaan ug usa sa sakramento sa Simbahan. Ug ang mga kabataan na gitang-tangan sa ila dignidad ug gikuhaan sa higayon na masinati nila ang ilang pagka bata tungod sa pag pugos sa pagpanarbaho o dili ba sa pag abuso sa ilang kaugalingong ginikanan. Bisan paman sa mga makaguol na sitwasyon, nahuwasan ako kay tungod ang simbahan, kung asa membro ako karon, milaban, misukol ug nakigbatok niining mga mangil-ad na binuhatan.

Tinuod gayud na ang mga pari, madre ug mga sulogoon sa simbahan mga yanong tawo ra usab, sama nako, madagma ug mahisukamod gayud. Sa kapin 2000 ka tuig na ang milabay, dili ikalimod na ikadaghan usab kini nga na nadugmo, sa mga kontobersiya, paglinlang ug kasina sa uban. Bisan paman niini padayong mibarog ang Simbahan, padayong mi kaylap ug padayong mitubo. Nagpadayon ang Espiritu Santo na nag aghat kanako sa akong pagtoo na dili hitupngan, pinaagi sa iya grasya ug panalipod ako nagpadayon sa pag uban ug pagtubo dinhi sa grasya isip Lawas ni Cristo.

Ang akong kasing-kasing magpabilin dinhi sa pagtoong Catolico. Wala na ako’y pangitaon pa. Nadunggan na nako ang mga saad sa daw sila “mga propeta”. Ako nang na pamatud-an sa ako kaugalingon na na dinhi ang akong kaluwasan. Dili ika hitupngan ang akong kalipay na ako membro ning Simbahan na gibalaan sa Dios. Ako maningkamot sa pagpadayon sa pagpuyo sama ni Kristo, ni Maria ug sa mga Balaan. Dinhi na ako sa akong gituhoan hangtod na makita ko na ang kahingpitan sa kinabuhi, ngadto sa Langit. Misalig ako sa Dios ug sa iyang saad mgadto kang Pedro sa pagtukod sa iyang Simbahan, mao kana ang tinubdan sa akong pagtoo ko sa Simbahang Catolico.

Ang akong lang panghinaut na unta andam kita na mo sanong sa tawag sa Simbahan sa pag-ila sa atong tahas sa pag tukod sa gingharian sa Dios dinhi sa kalibutan pinaagi sa pag atiman sa mga nagkinahanglan, mga masakiton, biniyaan, nag inusara, gugutom, gi-uhaw, linupig, gitamay, mga naguol, ug tanang nagkinahanglan ug amoma. Pinaagi sa atong pagtagad kanila atong mapabilin na ligdong ang Simbahan, mapuy-an nato ang mga hiyas ug  bahandi na gibubo sa Dios ngadto sa mitoo ug misalig kaniya ug sa gitukod na Simbhan sa iyang bugtong anak. Mahimo unta kita na larawan sa Dios ug makita sa uban na tinuod ug buhi ang Ginoo pinaagi sa pagbuhat ug maayo sa uban. Pinaagi niini daghan pa ang molig-on sa ilang pagsalig sa Ginoo ug sa Simbahan, ug sa iyang pagka Catolico. Ang paglaum sa katawhan na usa ka adlaw mobalik gayud ang Ginoo ug masaligon siya na siya ibutang gayud sa tuo sa Dios aron mosalo sa iyang bankete didto sa gingharian sa langit. Samtang naghuwat kita sa pagbalik ni Jesus, mao na padayon kita na magtambayayong sa paglakat ug magdungan kita na motubo sa grasya isip lawas ni Cristo.

To the Blessed Virgin Mary

 
To the Blessed Virgin Mary

by: Mark Jimuel Castillo

My mother, my queen

With you eternal life I may gain

To Jesus your son

To Him I should run

Hold my hand dear mother

Never cease to answer my prayer

Praise God for giving us a mother like you

A mother loving and caring

A mother ready to help us in all our undertaking

Guide our path, dear Lady

Lead us to God who is ever good and holy

May you never abandoned us

To God whom we are full of trust

Whisper in the ear of Jesus

Our prayer and supplication to you we implore

Help us to love God more,

And to find a place we may call home

May God be exalted in all we do,

That is why we do need of you

To lead us to your Son

With Jesus may our hearts will be one

And as we journey back home

In heaven where you are known

Heed our request Virgin Mary

To God our hearts you will carry.